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Wolverine VS Lobo
Description Wolverine vs Lobo is a What if? DEATH BATTLE by Nightshadow012. Interlude Wiz: While pain is capable of breaking the wills of many, these two take pain as a catalyst. While their tenacity may be their greatest strength, their viciousness is easily what earns them their popularity. Boomstick: Wolverine, the rage-fueled berserker! Wiz: And Lobo, the last Czarnian. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapon, armor and skill to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE! Wolverine Wiz: There are tough guys, there are wise guys. Boomstick: And then there are also guys who just don't give a damn. Wiz: Out of that category, I don't think there's a more lethal or vicious superhero like the legendary Wolverine. Boomstick: But before he was the stuff of Nightmares, he was born as James Howlett in 1886. He was tiny, pathetic and sick all the time. Wiz: One day, his family groundskeeper murdered his father. Little James, seeing the dead body of his father, was enraged, and he discovered a lethal power: three retractable bone claws on each hand. With a roar of fury, he stabbed the groundskeeper Thomas to death. But the truth was that the groundskeeper was his real father. Boomstick: I hope you're still with us, 'cause this thing is more confusing than the Five Nights at Freddy's timeline. Wiz: After escaping from his family due to his mistake and the loss of both his "fathers". James fought in both world wars and three other large scaled wars over a hundred years. Boomstick: You heard that right, a hundred years. James discovered that he had developed mutant healing powers. Wiz: This regenerative power not only allows him to heal basically any wound, it also slowed down his aging. So he has nearly a hundred years of experience. Boomstick: After fighting in some wars, he was recruited by Weapon X to join in a super soldier enhancement program. This is where he took the name "the Wolverine". Wiz: While being there, Wolverine got through a series of experiments that turned him into the rage-fueled berserker we know him as today. His bones were infused with adamantium, a rare, man-made metal alloy that is extremely dense and stable on a molecular level. It is reportedly indestructible and it enhanced the cutting power of his claws. Boomstick: Wolvie was also hypnotized and had his memories erased. From that point on, he became an animalistic killing machine. Wiz: And his life was changed forever. After wandering the wilderness, Wolverine was discovered by the X-men, and that was when he found a place where he belongs. He was then made into a real hero, and on the way, he gradually discovered even more mutant powers. He has keen olfactory senses... Boomstick: Wait, what? Wiz: His nose works really well. Boomstick: Got it. Wiz: This make him a great hunter and an expert tracker. He can move faster than the eye can see and he can lift up to two tons. Boomstick: But his most awesome power is still his adamantium claws. They can cut through almost anything. Wolverine had stabbed super beings like Thanos and the Gladiator. Wiz: What makes him tenacious, however, is still his healing factor and his metal skeleton. Boomstick: Not only can he heal life threatening wounds in a matter of seconds, his healing can also protect him from toxins and diseases. He is also equal in hand-to-hand combat with Captain America, and he is skilled enough to keep up with the likes of Iron Fist in combat. Wiz: Despite being the near-immortal powerhouse of the X-men, he has died a few times. Deadpool once killed him using a sword made of carbonadium, another nearly indestructible metal that's radioactive. This metal nullifies healing factors, and Deadpool killed Wolverine through decapitation. So despite Adamantium being the strongest metal there is, it's not really indestructible, so Wolverine can still die through decapitation. That's not mentioning how the healing factor stems from his brain, so you destroy Wolverine's brain, and you kill him. Boomstick: He can also die from drowning. Don't ask me why. Wiz: However, Wolverine is not known as the Berserker of Rage for no reason. If under extreme anger, he enters the Berserker Rage, a state allowing him to lose all self-control and ignore all pain as he succumbs to his animalistic killer instinct. Boomstick: The takeaway from this lesson, kids: Don't mess with Wolverine! Wolverine: We gotta get to Genosha if we want to stop Mr. Sinister. Deadpool: Wait, hold on, Genosha the island? Hey! We'll have to fly there! Can I fly the blackbird? Oh! I've always wanted to fly the blackbird! Wolverine: NO GODDAMN WAY! Lobo Wiz: Lobo is an alien from the planet Czarnia. Boomstick: What? Narnia? Wiz: No, Czarnia. Boomstick: Okay. Wiz: Lobo is an alien mercenary who wiped out his entire alien race in a week after unleashing a hoard of scorpions on his home planet. And in his words, it was a "Science Project". Boomstick: Even I'm not stupid enough to do that. Wiz: Well, he doesn't do it out of stupidity, he does it because he finds only mindless violence to be enjoyable. Boomstick: Oh, so he's a sociopath? Wiz: I guess, and a fun fact. Lobo's name translated into Earth English means "He who devours your entrails and thoroughly enjoys it." Boomstick: Ewww... Wiz: Hey, it's not my fault. And his name is also claimed to be an acronym with L meaning "lacerate", O meaning "obliterate", B as in "disembowel" and O being... Well, "obliterate". Boomstick: Kinda interesting. Anyway, after "obliterating" his own race, he became an alien mercenary, and he kept on doing what he does best: killing others with nothing but absolute brutality and bloodlust. Wiz: He is adept in many form of unarmed as well as armed combat. For weapons, he carries around a titanium chained hook, a couple of explosives and high grade firearms. Boomstick: Despite all of this, you need to get this: He's immortal, and there's no way you can kill him. He got kicked out of both Hell and Heaven, and he was then granted immortality so that he cannot harass anyone in the afterlife. I guess even the devil himself finds him to be disgusting. Wiz: Being a Czarnian means that he possesses superhuman strength that can even match Superman. Speaking of which, he defeated Superman at one point. He also has keen olfactory senses. Boomstick: Are you sure neither character ripped off the other? Wiz: Don't know. Despite Lobo's strength, weaponry, immortality and seemingly infinite bloodlust, he is extremely arrogant to a fault. Boomstick: But I guess that doesn't matter all that much. Man I kinda hate him now, except I can't kill him... Lobo: They call me the Main Man for a reason! Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!! DEATH BATTLE! Wolverine is in a bar, he just finished his third beer of the night. Wolverine: Hey, bub, do me a favor and refill my glass while I go off to the bathroom, would ya? And save my seat, thanks. Wolverine goes to the bathroom, but when he came out, someone took his seat. It was Lobo. Wolverine: Hey, bub! Get outta my seat! Lobo: This is your seat? I don't see your name on it. Wolverine: Don't make me angry, bub. I may not be in a bad mood now, but you don't want to see me when I am! Bartender: Hey, gentlemen, whatever grudge you have, can you just take it outside, please? Wolverine: Fine! Wolverine gets his adamantium claws out and rushes at Lobo, the two are now outside. Wolverine: Let's do this! FIGHT! Wolverine slashes Lobo with his claws, and Lobo starts healing. In the midst of the slashes, Lobo interrupted with a blow with a hook to Wolverine's face. Sending Wolverine airbourne. Lobo draws his firearms and fires a few rounds at Wolverine. Wolverine starts healing too. Lobo: Heh, stay down. Wolverine: You think I'm going down like this? Lobo keeps on firing, but Wolverine charges towards Lobo without any care for the barrage of bullets. Wolverine stabbed Lobo in the heart with all six of his claws. Lobo keeps healing. Lobo: You're not the only one who can regenerate, bub. Wolverine: That's my line! Lobo drops a grenade, which blew up in Wolverine's face, and Wolverine flies a great distance backwards. Wolverine hits the wall of a building. Lobo jumps towards Wolverine, and punches him three times before switching to the hook again. Wolverine blocks an uppercut with the hook by pressing his claws downward. Lobo pushes Wolverine back, and he charges towards Wolverine again, only to be greeted by Wolverine's signature move: the Berserker Barrage. Slashing Lobo a dozen times. Lobo is injured, but he just kept healing. Wolverine tries to stab Lobo directly, only to find his claws being stopped in the middle of their tracks by Lobo's right hand. Lobo kicks Wolverine in the jaw, sending him into the air. Lobo then jumps up, too, stepping on Wolverine as they both drop to the ground again. Wolverine: Now that one hurt! Lobo rides on his motorbike and runs Wolverine over. Wolverine lies on the ground, but before Lobo could run him over again, Wolverine stands up and jumps at Lobo, stabbing Lobo in the heart again with his claws. Wolverine: Tornado Claw! Wolverine unleashed an uppercut that left a few distinct claw marks on Lobo's jaw. Lobo grits his teeth, he's angry now. Lobo counters Wolverine as Wolverine tries to jump at him again by punching Wolverine so hard that it really sends him flying. Wolverine was yelling as he goes airborne. Wolverine landed near a deep lagoon. Lobo arrived a few moments later as he finds Wolverine on the ground, rather beaten up. He carved a huge "X" with his hook on Wolverine's chest. Wolverine tags Lobo with two upward slashes, and he unleashed a slash so powerful it went through Lobo's body! Wolverine: Drill Claw! Lobo holds his hand on his stomach where he was hit. Wolverine does the same thing again, and he tops it all off with a few more slashes, but before he wanted to finish it off, Lobo jumps up, grabs Wolverine and the two plunges into the water. Wolverine screams in pain, and Lobo has Wolverine on the ropes. Lobo keeps punching Wolverine in the face. Wolverine struggles to fight back, but Lobo tries to strangle him. Wolverine draws his final breath, and he closes his eyes. The Wolverine has fallen. KO! Lobo swims to the surface of the water, and he says: "Now I need that beer." Analysis Boomstick: Noooo! Not Wolverine! Wiz: Believe us, we know that this is ridiculous, but there is no way that Lobo can die. At least there's no way that Wolverine can kill Lobo. Wolverine can die from drowning even if Lobo cannot find a way to cut open adamantium. Boomstick: Lobo's healing is about three times of five times faster than that of Wolverine's. Even if Wolverine did have the metal skeleton as a final line of defense, he was outmatched by Lobo clearly superior strength. It's absurd! So overpowered that it allows Lobo to go toe to toe against Superman and win! Wolverine struggles to defeat Deadpool. Wiz: With that much strength and assured immortality, Wolverine had finally found another worthy match. Boomstick: The last scene was breathtaking. Wiz: The winner is Lobo. Alternate Ending After Wolverine left a few marks on Lobo's jaw, Lobo said: "Man, this is boring. This could go on forever." Wolverine: I guess so too, I'm bored already. Lobo: You wanna go get a beer? Wolverine: I've already had my third, but sure. NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE! Mirror, tell me something... Tell me who's the loneliest of all? The Ice Queen returns... Category:Death Battles Category:'Hero vs Anti-Hero' Themed Death Battles Category:Comics themed Death Battles Category:DC vs Marvel themed Death Battles Category:Completed Death Battles